What Strange Creatures
by purplehairedwonder
Summary: When Cooper comes home for a surprise visit, he finds Blaine and a friend in a compromising position. Featuring Anderbros and Blam ridiculousness.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** The quickest of quick little ficlets because I really wanted some Anderbos + Blam. The title comes from a Jane Austen quote: "What strange creatures brothers are!"

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing you recognize.

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**What Strange Creatures**

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"Blainey!" Cooper called as he opened the front door and set his suitcase down inside the door.

He shut the door and waited, but when there was no answer, he frowned. His parents' cars hadn't been in the driveway when he'd pulled up in his rental—they were probably working late—but Blaine's was.

He'd gotten an unexpected week off when production on his commercial had halted because the credit company was under investigation by the FDIC so had booked the first flight from LA back to Ohio to surprise his family.

Blaine had been down since he and Kurt had broken up and Cooper had only gotten to see him for a couple of days at Christmas since Blaine had gone to New York, so Cooper had planned all kinds of brotherly bonding for the week; he'd even researched gay bars in Columbus on the flight because he would obviously make an awesome wing man.

Demographic research had also informed him that he did well among gay males, and who was he to deprive his fans _and_ help his little brother at the same time? Besides, who knew when he might be able to use the experience in an upcoming project? Cooper was nothing if not devoted to his craft—and family too, of course.

He was about to call out again when he heard muffled sounds coming from upstairs. Blaine must be watching TV in his room. With a mischievous grin spreading across his face, Cooper took the stairs two at a time before creeping down the hallway against the wall. He'd played a ninja once in a commercial and had been a natural.

As he got closer to Blaine's cracked door, he could hear _two_ people laughing and the sound of a mattress creaking.

"I want to see, Blaine!" Cooper didn't recognize that voice.

"No!" _That_ was Blaine. "It's private!"

"Let me have it!"

"You'll have to take it!"

"You know I will, bro."

_Taking advantage of the parents being gone, little brother? That's my boy_, he thought with a smirk. But even so, Cooper was Blaine's big brother so he wasn't going to let an opportunity to embarrass the kid slide. Still, Cooper was awesome enough to at least give him a moment of warning.

"Blainey, surprise!" he called before opening the door.

Both voices cut off as Blaine made a squawking sound. "Coop?"

Cooper opened his mouth to reply, but then he saw Blaine on his back on his bed, arms over his head. He had his phone in one hand, his arm stretched out behind him while his other was pinned to the mattress by another boy who was straddling his waist. They were both dressed at least.

Cooper raised an eyebrow, already plotting how to use this as blackmail material. "Am I interrupting something?"

For a moment Blaine and Cooper looked at each other, Cooper in amusement and Blaine in wide-eyed surprise. Then Blaine looked at his friend then back at Cooper and paled.

"Sam, get off," Blaine muttered and the other boy—Sam; why did that name sound familiar?—rolled off of him with a sheepish look. "What are you doing here, Coop?" Blaine asked, sounding slightly breathless as he and his friend stood up, straightening their clothes.

Cooper studied his little brother, but he didn't seem to have any obvious hickeys so there was that. "I got a week off of work so I came to surprise you, Squirt. Obviously. I was planning all kinds of brotherly bonding, but I guess you don't need a wingman after all."

Blaine blinked owlishly then seemed to realize what he meant and looked back at Sam. He shook his head and hurriedly replied, "What? No! This is Sam. My _friend_ Sam. The one I told you about."

Oooh, that was why the name sounded familiar. Sam was the straight boy who had become Blaine's best friend after he and Kurt had broken up. The one Blaine very obviously had a crush on. "I see."

"Hi," Sam said with an awkward wave. "I was in your master class last year."

Blaine rolled his eyes but Cooper ignored him; who was the internationally-beloved spokesperson in the family, after all? "I thought I recognized you. So you're the guy my little brother won't stop gushing about."

Blaine blushed, but Sam just grinned. "I hope so. He totally wants to do me."

"Sam!"

"You looked well on your way just now," Cooper offered. "I can go downstairs and make a lot of noise or something. Or, you know, go to a movie or two and come back later."

"Coop!" Blaine pinched the bridge of his nose. "You both are ridiculous. Sam was trying to steal my phone."

"He was texting Kurt," Sam informed Cooper. "And he had that _look_ on his face."

Cooper knew exactly what look that was—the goofy love-struck smile and crinkled eyes—and was more than a little amused this Sam kid did too. Blaine didn't have a subtle bone in his body, poor kid. Still, he hadn't exactly been forthcoming with details about him and the ex lately, so Cooper was intrigued.

"Oh really?"

"It's nothing!" Blaine argued. "He's coming back to Lima in a couple of weeks for his dad's medical checkup."

"Well, don't let him catching you two playing keep away when he gets here," Cooper suggested before giving them a thoughtful look. "Unless you invite him to join. There's a big audience for that these days."

"Cooper!" Blaine groaned, running a hand over his face.

But Sam looked thoughtful. "You know, I'm pretty sure Kurt had a crush on me, too. The gay guys really love the White Chocolate," he said, running a hand down his stomach.

"Sam," Blaine very nearly _whined_.

Cooper grinned. He stepped into the room and threw arms around his brother's and Sam's shoulders. He might have to amend his plans a bit, but yeah, he could make this work.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** I couldn't resist a little follow-up. I have no idea if there will be more, but this is a fun dynamic to play with.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing you recognize.

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"You know," Cooper said, flopping down next to Blaine at the bar after a particularly exhilarating round on the dance floor, "for a moderately attractive gay guy who actually likes to dance, you're not doing very well for yourself tonight, little brother."

"Moderately attractive?" Blaine echoed, raising an eyebrow over his beer bottle.

Blaine had been nursing the same drink since they'd arrived at the gay bar over an hour ago and hadn't so much as gotten up to dance once, even though Cooper knew for a fact that he was the second best dancer in their family.

When Cooper had found out that Blaine already had a fake ID, he'd been impressed (Sam had stared at Blaine like he'd grown a second head when he'd pulled the card out, and Blaine had just shrugged. "What? So I've been to Scandals once or twice," he'd replied dismissively, and Cooper had filed that away to find out about later) and had high hopes for the night. But Blaine's downer attitude had put a damper on the entire outing.

Of course, Cooper wasn't going to let that keep _him_ down; he was supposed to be Blaine's wingman tonight, but he couldn't help it if all the attractive gay men were flocking to him instead of his little brother. It was a curse, he supposed.

"The girls at school seem to think you're pretty hot," Sam offered from Blaine's other side. They'd been sitting shoulder to shoulder since they'd arrived, nursing drinks and talking (who went to a bar to _talk_?) while Cooper danced. "Tina especially." Blaine pressed his lips together but didn't comment. "And, I mean, if I were into dudes, I'd probably want to do you too," he added, throwing an arm over Blaine's shoulders.

Blaine looked at Sam incredulously for a moment before shaking his head. "Thanks. I think."

"C'mon Blainey, you're related to me, so you have to be _somewhat_ attractive by default. Of course, I got the better deal of the genes, but still. There are no _ugly_ Andersons," Cooper added, pulling his brother's attention back to him.

If Blaine really had low enough self-esteem that he needed his brother and straight best friend to tell him that he was attractive, he might be in a bigger funk than Cooper had anticipated when he was making brotherly bonding plans.

"How much longer do we have to stay?" Blaine asked wearily.

"C'mon little brother, let loose and enjoy yourself!" Cooper said, gesturing toward the dance floor. "I know you _want_ to get up and dance. I saw your foot tapping." He frowned. "Are you intimidated of being on the dance floor at the same time as me? Because I totally understand that and can sit out a few songs. This is supposed to be for you, after all."

Blaine rolled his eyes. "I told you I didn't want to come in the first place, Coop."

"Nonsense! You're single and being single at a bar is all about having fun." He narrowed his eyes quickly, glancing between his brother and Sam. "Safe fun, of course!" he added before tilting his head thoughtfully. "Though I'm surprised no one has asked you to dance yet, being moderately attractive and all. Definitely above average for this place."

Blaine groaned. "You're insane. And besides," he said, nodding back at Sam, "I'm pretty sure everyone thinks White Chocolate here is my boyfriend."

Sam frowned. "What, me?"

"Sam, you've been all over me since we got here," Blaine said patiently, tapping the arm that was still slung over his shoulders. "You're sending off serious territorial vibes."

Sam looked startled at that. "I have?"

"And I really don't mind because, like I said,_ I_ _didn't want to come in the first place_, but yes."

Sam looked over at Cooper, a playful look spreading across his face; Cooper knew that look and found himself nodding at whatever the kid had in mind to do to tease Blaine and maybe get him to have a little fun before the night was a total waste.

"Well then _honey,_" Sam said, dropping his arm from Blaine's shoulders to grab his hand and, in one fluid motion, pull Blaine from the stool toward the dance floor. "Let's give them a show."

Blaine yelped in surprise and stumbled at the sudden movement, but he didn't pull his hand from Sam's grip as he was tugged along. Cooper could see him blushing despite the club lighting and he let out a whoop of encouragement. Blaine looked back at him and pulled a face, so Cooper just grinned and waved.

Sam settled them in the middle of the dance floor and put his hands on Blaine's hips. Blaine, for his part, stiffened as Sam started to dance; Cooper could practically see his brother trembling uncomfortably from across the room. But then Sam said something and Blaine barked out a surprised laugh. His posture loosened immediately and he looped his arms over Sam's shoulders with an amused grin and they started to dance in sync.

They weren't exactly on top of each other as they danced, but they were close enough together as they moved that some of the other dancers started eyeing them with interest. Cooper was torn between pride that his brother was finally getting checked out and protectiveness; he had the sudden urge to go on the dance floor himself to divert some attention. After all, Blaine was still a kid and Cooper had to look out for him.

Eventually Sam and Blaine separated, making Cooper's decision for him, and Sam started in on what must've been the "White Chocolate" moves he'd been going on about on the drive into Columbus, gyrating and swiveling his hips. Cooper raised an eyebrow at the blatant sexuality, but Blaine had one hand over his mouth as he shook with laughter and Cooper could see his eyes shining in amusement.

Cooper's insides twisted sharply at the sight, all concern forgotten. It had been a long time since he'd seen his brother looking so genuinely happy, and if that Sam kid was the reason for that smile, then Cooper was all but ready to welcome him to the family.

Shaking his head, Cooper pushed himself up from the bar and headed onto the dance floor. "Now that's more like it!" he called. "Let's really get this party started!"


End file.
